So some time ago, ailleann23<\/b> and I were entertaining ourselves by not doing work, and we started talking. As you do. Predictably the topic was Spencer Smith. <\/p>\n
flyingtapes<\/b>: spencer has worn three pairs of shoes in pretty much every photo he’s been in since late 2005
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: so he may love shoes
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: but he doesn’t ever fucking wear them
\nailleann23<\/b>: maybe he loves shoes like he loves clothes
\nailleann23<\/b>: loves them so much they have to stay at home where it’s safe
\nailleann23<\/b>: and he wears the same black button down for six months
\nailleann23<\/b>: which, you know, not that it’s not hot
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: haaaaaaaaa.
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: it seems likely.
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: not just the same jeans and black button down
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: but the same ugly enormous white shoes
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: that looks like he lifted them from 1975
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: off a country-western performer in southern texas
\nailleann23<\/b>: seriously, i think he lost everything in a tragic straightening iron fire
\nailleann23<\/b>: maybe he bought an extra vintage pair off eBay accidentally
\nailleann23<\/b>: and figured since he had a pair for the collection, he could wear them
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: god
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: of course he would buy used shoes off ebay
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and then actually wear them
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and ryan makes fun of him
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: but really has no room to talk
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: what with the scarves
\nailleann23<\/b>: (they actually bought from the same seller, but Brendon doesn’t have the heart to tell them)
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: ::dies::
\nailleann23<\/b>: Brendon bought some rare Toy Story action figures from the same guy, so he doesn’t have room to talk either
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: sometimes he and jon play with them
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: on the floor of the bus
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: when spencer and ryan are off getting smoothies
\nailleann23<\/b>: jon’s really good at the pig voice
\nailleann23<\/b>: they trade off being Bo Peep
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: he can make the most amazing animal noises, brendon is seriously impressed
\nailleann23<\/b>: hahaha
\nailleann23<\/b>: one time, Jon got a ton of plastic soldiers
\nailleann23<\/b>: it was EPIC
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: they sang the “hi-ho” song from snow white while they marched them all around
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and gave them all names
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: even though they kept confusing which one was which
\nailleann23<\/b>: Spencer was digging them out of his bunk for WEEKS
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: he’d be mad but he totally played tabletop gaming in junior high school, so he couldn’t really harm them or anything. it would be like harming one of his own!
\nailleann23<\/b>: ::dies::
\nailleann23<\/b>: he parks one on top of the light in his bunk
\nailleann23<\/b>: Brendon and Jon have a ton, they’ll never miss one
\nailleann23<\/b>: Ryan wrote a really sad little song about a broken one he found, about how he would never go home
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: he played it on the ukelele because he was “trying to get a feel for the instrument”
\nailleann23<\/b>: Brendon heard it and immediately drug him out and bought him a purple popsicle
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: because purple is ryan’s faaaaaaaaaaaaaavorite
\nailleann23<\/b>: because “purple popsicles make everything better, Ryan Ross”
\nailleann23<\/b>: the song was really good though
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: jon suggested making it a b-side
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: but then ryan was worried it was too political for today’s market
\nailleann23<\/b>: in about a month, spencer will suggest they include it as a previously unreleased track on their live album from the Civic tour
\nailleann23<\/b>: but it’s brendon who refuses to sing it, because it’s “so much better when ryan does it, seriously”
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: he totally plays the ukelele, though
\nailleann23<\/b>: oh yeah
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: mostly because he likes to introduce the song as, “and this is the one where I play the ukelele!”
\nailleann23<\/b>: afterwards, he moves the mood from blue back to happy by doing his Tiny Tim impression
\nailleann23<\/b>: which is abysmal, but the ukelele part is good
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: the ukelele part is always good
\nailleann23<\/b>: Brendon’s kind of a bitchin’ ukelele player
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: brendon thinks he might try it one time to do camisado acousticlaly
\nailleann23<\/b>: !!
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: but even jon’s like, um, I don’t think so, brendon
\nailleann23<\/b>: he doesn’t stop practicing it, though
\nailleann23<\/b>: But It’s Better If You Do sounds surprisingly good, though
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: brendon calls it the perry como interpretation
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: he even wears a hawaiian shirt one time
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: the fangirls go crazy
\nailleann23<\/b>: ::snorts uncontrollably::
\nailleann23<\/b>: and talking about Perry Como means just one thing
\nailleann23<\/b>: CHRISTMAS SONGS
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: so brendon wanders around singing “winter wonderland” over and over
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: even though it’s fucking april
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: until spencer is seriously considering throwing a shoe at him
\nailleann23<\/b>: but, you know, shoe
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: exactly
\nailleann23<\/b>: Jon, being fucking Jon, sings along
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: in harmony
\nailleann23<\/b>: oh well, Ryan thinks dejectedly<\/lj-cut><\/p>\n
And, okay, that was pretty amusing. Seriously. But then we started, um, going in a different direction. <\/p>\n
flyingtapes<\/b>: okay, but, isn’t Balloons for Elephants an awesome indie band name? *<\/p>\n ailleann23<\/b>: I should text you with the adventures of Ray Ortiz, the Mikeyway of Spanish techno \ud83d\ude42
\nailleann23<\/b>: YES
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: because I kind of want to start a lo-fi band just to use that name
\nailleann23<\/b>: it’s AU Frank’s side project
\nailleann23<\/b>: in the world where, i dunno, My Chem’s a European techno supergroup or something
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: I can just see gerard flailing behing a laptop
\nailleann23<\/b>: FROM ITALY
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: doing interpretative dance while laying down beats
\nailleann23<\/b>: EPIC
\nailleann23<\/b>: BIBLICAL
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: LEGENDARY
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: they are very famous in europe
\nailleann23<\/b>: Toro’s from France, though, and Bryar’s from Finland
\nailleann23<\/b>: shit, I mean Spain
\nailleann23<\/b>: Toro’s from Spain, fuck
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: frankie and the ways grew up in a small village in sicily
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: where their only dream was to someday go to techno clubs
\nailleann23<\/b>: (ooohhh I can smell the wolfshirts)
\nailleann23<\/b>: One summer, they went to visit their cousin’s wife’s brother’s buddy Ray in Spain
\nailleann23<\/b>: who is, like, a Spanish techno scene kid
\nailleann23<\/b>: he’s the mikeyway of Spanish techno
\nailleann23<\/b>: and it’s LOVE
\nailleann23<\/b>: they write their first three songs in, like, a week and a half
\nailleann23<\/b>: Yeah, so they suddenly have all these songs.
\nailleann23<\/b>: And because Ray knows everyone, they end up playing them at this pretty major club
\nailleann23<\/b>: and the place goes NUTS
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and like gee is hiding behind a hoodie and enormous sunglasses
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: even though the club is super-dark
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and mikey has glasses so pointy they’ve actually cut people and a high-collared shirt
\nailleann23<\/b>: Mikey’s over talking to some guy, seemingly oblivious
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: so ray has to be like, “this is the way brothers.”
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and like THAT they suddenly rule the scene
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: without saying a fucking word
\nailleann23<\/b>: yeeees
\nailleann23<\/b>: they go do a couple more shows, and they don’t believe Ray when he says people are going crazy
\nailleann23<\/b>: until these girls have these homemade “Way Bros.” shirts
\nailleann23<\/b>: and then everybody kinda freaks out
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and mikey’s like, hey, show me how to make those
\nailleann23<\/b>: but Gerard hates the name Way Brothers
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and gee is like, oh my fuck, we need a message! (“il mio dio, abbiamo bisogno di un messaggio!”, thank you
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: only in italian
\nailleann23<\/b>: because, ok, yeah, they are, but it’s more than that
\nailleann23<\/b>: ::dies::
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: they are “mi amore de pharmacia” (MY LOVE OF PHARMACY, ROCK IT LIKE YOU OWN IT)
\nailleann23<\/b>: ahahahaha
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: or something, that’s as close as I could get with my vaguely recollected italian
\nailleann23<\/b>: and suddenly they’re going all around Europe, like some kind of fucking rock stars
\nailleann23<\/b>: so they’re in Finland, fucking Finland of all places
\nailleann23<\/b>: and when they’re not trying to keep Frankie from riding a reindeer
\nailleann23<\/b>: they’re in some hole-in-the-wall club, and the DJ throws down the wickedest mix Gerard has ever heard
\nailleann23<\/b>: and he’s all o\/
\nailleann23<\/b>: and then he’s all ::flail::
\nailleann23<\/b>: and it turns out it’s this dude named Bob, and Gerard’s all ::grabbyhands::, and boom, Bob’s in the band
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: the collective
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: gee calls it an artists collective
\nailleann23<\/b>: AHAHAHAHYES
\nailleann23<\/b>: mikey calls them whatever “sweet little dudes” is in italian
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: no, that’s the name of his side project with pete wentz
\nailleann23<\/b>: ohh right
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: this mad german spoken word artist
\nailleann23<\/b>: ahahaha
\nailleann23<\/b>: (imagines p. weezy doing beat poetry. dies.)
\nailleann23<\/b>: so then they finally go back to italy and they’re HUGE<\/p>\n
\nailleann23<\/b>: artists’ collective
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: I know, right
\nailleann23<\/b>: oh Gerard
\nailleann23<\/b>: please tell me that Bob has a side project
\nailleann23<\/b>: that’s all oblique ABBA-esque love song mashups
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: oh, man. bob also produces shit under the name “thronedemon x” that’s all mashups of 80s popsongs and grunge music.
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: he’s hailed as the new coming of mashup genius.
\nailleann23<\/b>: YES
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: but no one knows that it’s bryar out of gerard’s collective except, like, the dudes and two other people.
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: because bob loves to put that shit out there and watch the blogs scramble to find anything to say about him.
\nailleann23<\/b>: hahah
\nailleann23<\/b>: when thronedemon x does a “club show”, a courier delivers an iPod
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: dude yes.
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: that is so how it plays.
\nailleann23<\/b>: the clubs SELL OUT
\nailleann23<\/b>: and Bob delights in all these people coming to listen to an iPod
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: but a perfectly fucking timed ipod
\nailleann23<\/b>: and because thronedemon x’s schedule is all over the place, including crossing over with his other shows, no one ever thinks it’s him
\nailleann23<\/b>: oh yeah, three hours of expertly-faded mashups and long-cut club tracks
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and one night
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: the mychem (en italiano!) show up at a thronedemon x show
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and everyone’s like, omg do you KNOW WHO HE IS?
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and they’re all like, nope! but this shit’s hot!
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and then gerard and frank go giggle in the vip
\nailleann23<\/b>: or!
\nailleann23<\/b>: they each come up with a story beforehand, and whoever’s version makes it to the fansites first wins
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: haaaa.
\nailleann23<\/b>: they disqualify Ray because his contacts Sidekick it in from the venue
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: frank’s is that thronedemon x is a tibetan monk who comes out of hermitude briefly to expel his brilliance and then recedes to his solitude.
\nailleann23<\/b>: mikey says he’s a fourteen-year-old kid from New Jersey
\nailleann23<\/b>: Bob says it’s all a complicated social experiment, which being almost the entire truth, never sees the light of day
\nailleann23<\/b>: (the rumor, that is)
\nailleann23<\/b>: Gerard’s theory is that it’s Pete Wentz
\nailleann23<\/b>: Gerard technically wins, though what they really see on the fansites is that it’s Pete Wentz’s dog.
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: pete posts a cryptic blog entry
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: with a picture of hemmy wearing headphones
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: over a mac
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and it says “genius at work”
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and the internet goes insane
\nailleann23<\/b>: there’s shirts in two weeks
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: because he may be a german beat poet
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: but he knows how to market that shit!
\nailleann23<\/b>: it skyrockets the popularity of pete and mikey’s side project
\nailleann23<\/b>: Sommer von Wie
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: but when they’re together in the press they like to call each other “the sweet leetle dudes,” and it sounds different in both of their accents
\nailleann23<\/b>: and there are NO pictures
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: their side project is pete’s words set to mikey’s beats
\nailleann23<\/b>: every news outlet has to use the same AP photo
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: but they discover this previously unknown voice
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: who is credited only as p.stump
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: in all lower case
\nailleann23<\/b>: nobody knows who this kid is
\nailleann23<\/b>: but he starts popping up all over the damn place
\nailleann23<\/b>: backup vocals on no less than five albums in a three month period
\nailleann23<\/b>: there’s a whole fansite dedicated to researching supposed p.stump appearances
\nailleann23<\/b>: They establish that he does not in fact appear on the new Radiohead album
\nailleann23<\/b>: but there was an epic flamewar over whether or not he’s working with Timbaland
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and finally even timbaland’s people step in and release an official statement
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: that says something to the affect of “While Timbaland would be pleased to have the opportunity to work with Mr. p.stump, there are currently no professional connections between the two artists.”
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and of course like a month later a track drops from timbaland with p.stump vocals
\nailleann23<\/b>: it wins a grammy
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: but p.stump still makes no appearance!
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: pete wentz is always name-dropping him though
\nailleann23<\/b>: the award is accepted by Timba and Wentz’s dog
\nailleann23<\/b>: the dog’s wearing a trucker’s cap
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: which says “I <3 anonymity\"\nflyingtapes<\/b>: or something equally cheeky
\nailleann23<\/b>: when thronedemon x launches a free-on-the-website track with a p.stump vocal, the server explodes
\nailleann23<\/b>: actually explodes, taking a quarter of Finland’s internet backbone with it
\nailleann23<\/b>: it’s only down for a few hours, but it starts a MAELSTROM
\nailleann23<\/b>: there’s a Reuters story about it, which gets Digged up to #50 in about a week
\nailleann23<\/b>: Pete releases another t-shirt: “I am p.stump”
\nailleann23<\/b>: the back says “don’t tell finland”
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: the internet starts speculating that pete and mikey have broken up sweet leetle dudes to partner with p.stump
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and pete shows up at an event wearing mikey’s glasses and a shirt inside out
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: which is made into roughly 3000 livejournal icons
\nailleann23<\/b>: 20 of which were made by Pete himself
\nailleann23<\/b>: mostly of his ass
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: freely available on his blog
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: finally, seemingly out of nowhere, a blog at p.stump.net shows up
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and it’s mostly just untagged pictures uploaded with little captions like “sky”
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and “park”
\nailleann23<\/b>: it is not hosted in finland
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: no!
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: because the fans, being stalkers, look up the whois
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and it’s registered to FOB Corp, out of the UK.
\nailleann23<\/b>: in the source code, there’s a commented section that just reads “p.stump = patron saint of liars and fakes”
\nailleann23<\/b>: there’s a really obscure theory that attaches p.stump to Martin Stumph, a folk singer from Chicago, whose first album was released with little fanfare and lots of critical acclaim
\nailleann23<\/b>: everybody thinks they’re a bunch of tinhats, though
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and there are these really intense music blog posts that analyze the martin stumph recordings in comparison to the p.stump recordings
\nailleann23<\/b>: this kid named Ryan Ross from Nevada is the purported expert on the subject… he wrote his music theory honors thesis on it
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: he takes it Very Seriously
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and sent pete wentz a number of very precise and polite emails requesting an interview
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: to which pete just replied back with “sry the dog doesnt leik to fly”
\nailleann23<\/b>: Ryan does get an interview with Martin Stumph, though
\nailleann23<\/b>: he flies to Chicago, and they have milkshakes at Potbelly’s
\nailleann23<\/b>: Martin is very engaging, and gives Ryan a really great interview about his writing process and being a struggling folk singer
\nailleann23<\/b>: when Ryan asks him point blank about p.stump, he flushes a little, and pulls the brim of his newsboy hat down
\nailleann23<\/b>: Martin says he wishes he was that famous, but that all the speculation has been great for upping his album sales
\nailleann23<\/b>: a lot of scene kids come to his shows, and come up to him afterwards and tell him how much they like folk music now that they’ve listened to his stuff
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and he is really pleased that his music is getting kids into folk and singer-songwriters
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: because he feels that the genre is really underappreciated, you know?
\nailleann23<\/b>: by the way, he likes Sommer von Wie, but (just between them) he thinks it’s maybe just a little pretentious
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and ryan dutifully takes the information he needs for his thesis
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: but he also posts a transcript of the interview on his website
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and as soon as the pretentious thing hits the internet, at the next thing the sweet leetle dudes go out at, they’re wearing matching shirts. pete’s says “preten” and mikey’s says “tious” and they pretty much squish up against each other the whole night for the cameras
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: pete gets up behind the dj booth
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and announces that he’s dropping a new track
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: which is a remix of one of martin stump’s songs
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: that immediately gets leaked to the internet
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and with this ryan totally scores the honors on his thesis
\nailleann23<\/b>: Ryan actually gets a Rolling Stone interview, because Wentz won’t return their calls
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and that’s actually how it comes out that ryan’s a singer-songwriter himself
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: most of the article is about ryan’s project, and a rundown of the whole pete wentz-p.stump-martin stumph thing
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: but there’s a paragraph in there where the interviewer’s like, “so this thesis was generated by your passion for music?”
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and ryan says in that monotone casual he has going on that, yes, he’s been devoted to music for a long time and in fact has been a singer-songwriter in nevada and the southwest since he was a freshman in high school
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and suddenly his myspace is fucking everywhere, with the four songs he put up on the player hitting the top five most frequently played
\nailleann23<\/b>: it gets a lot of requests on KESZ out of Phoenix
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and suddenly the little coffehouse gigs ryan had been playing at are filled with people!
\nailleann23<\/b>: martin stumph even comes out
\nailleann23<\/b>: “you didn’t tell me you were a guitarist, man! we should jam sometime.”
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and his thesis supervisor takes him aside for a brief talk about losing perspective
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: but ryan just points out that the majority of his thesis has been vetted before this whole thing went down
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: so he and martin jam
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and put it up on purevolume
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and then the sweet leetle dudes remix that, too
\nailleann23<\/b>: they remix ryan’s “behind the sea” as well, and it becomes an instant hit in england
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and in fact that is where ryan’s first tour is
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and after a lot of internet blather
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: the SLD, Ryan, and Martin Stumph announce that they’re releasing an album together
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: of remixed folk\/songwriter material
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and they’re calling themselves, um.
\nailleann23<\/b>: Desert Days and Dark Club Nights
\nailleann23<\/b>: Martin, however, continues to deny all rumors that he is p.stump
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: although the tinhattery surrounding that has grown exponentially
\nailleann23<\/b>: most everyone seems to blame the similarity in sound to the influence of the SLD
\nailleann23<\/b>: but there are diehards who pretty much equate it to Lois Lane not knowing that Clark Kent is Superman
\nailleann23<\/b>: in the next website update, the top-corner graphic is Pete’s dog in a cape
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: haaaaaa and when you click on it there’s a pop-up window that takes you to a Secret Bonus Track for DD&DCN
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and the ID3 tags for the track say “produced by p.stump”
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: which of course sends things off even further
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: but now ryan won’t talk about it either
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: he’s like, I did the research I needed to for my thesis, and now I’m pursuing other interests
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and all the fans are like, HE TOTALLY KNOWS
\nailleann23<\/b>: and he steers the conversation back to the album and how great working with Martin has been
\nailleann23<\/b>: on p.stump.net, a really blurry cameraphone photo shows up
\nailleann23<\/b>: it’s Pete and Mikey in their “pretentious” shirts, and Ryan’s half out of the frame
\nailleann23<\/b>: or at least, the tinhats think it’s Ryan
\nailleann23<\/b>: but it’s so blurry that it’s impossible to say
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and everyone’s trying to use photoshop to get the image to better resolution
\nailleann23<\/b>: and there’s lots of comparison shots of the ends of a scarf
\nailleann23<\/b>: which, of course, is commercially available in europe, so it could be anyone, really
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: but then on ryan’s website he casually mentions that he’s been hanging out in europe for awhile now and really loves the markets
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: especially the scarves
\nailleann23<\/b>: Pete starts carrying a line of scarves in their webstore
\nailleann23<\/b>: “The brand that Ryan loves, direct from Europe!”
\nailleann23<\/b>: Gerard wears one in a photoshoot two weeks later
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: which prompts a whole other flurry
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: because when ryan and gerard meet, they have this weird thing of “I’m not sure I like you but there is something there”
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and suddenly they’re out at clubs together all the time
\nailleann23<\/b>: they have three LJ comms in a week
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and ryan writes something opaque on his website like, “I am learning a lot about different styles of music. It’s been a real eye-opening experience.”
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and someone corners gerard after a dj session and he gives this really vague, kind of spacey ramble about how new people impact the music and it changes and grows, like a flower or maybe a plant that gets a lot of sun and water, and it’s a really healthy way to express your creativity and expand your expectations
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and that shows up on youtube
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and gets like 5000 hits in a week
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and pete embeds it on his blog
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and says “sometimes new friends are the best friends”
\nailleann23<\/b>: perez gets this footage of what might be two people in scarves making out in the back alley of some club in Portugal
\nailleann23<\/b>: but it might also be an overflowing dumpster, that’s how grainy the footage is
\nailleann23<\/b>: no one in the US has cared this much about European techno EVER
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: it’s big enough that ONTD is following it
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and whenever a paparrazzo tries to corner one of the collective or the SLD or DD&DCN they’re just like, what? why are you taking a picture of me?
\nailleann23<\/b>: except Pete, of course
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: pete’s like, O HAI CAMERA
\nailleann23<\/b>: and then he goes and steals the pics and puts them on his own website
\nailleann23<\/b>: “look how nice my hair looked today!”
\nailleann23<\/b>: we should talk about Frank’s side project
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: balloons for elephants!
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: frank really loves techno
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: but he has also always wanted to create a slow-moving orchestral sound
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: that sounded like it was being played on a gramaphone
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: but with modern structure
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: so he started fiddling things together, but it wasn’t really working
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: until one day ryan was hanging out with frank and gee in the south of france
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and he has these beats come out of his laptop, just sitting there, bobbing his head
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and UP SHOOTS FRANK
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: “what is that?”
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: “what?” says ryan in his matching gerard scarf.
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: “that! those beats!”
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: “oh,” says ryan. “that’s just my best friend, spencer. he’s a percussionist.”
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: “I must meet this man,” decrees Frank
\nailleann23<\/b>: Ryan’s been bothering Spencer FOREVER to come visit him
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: but spencer’s been busy, you know
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: he and his boyfriend brendon were moving in together and everything
\nailleann23<\/b>: they met at school
\nailleann23<\/b>: they have a little jaaaazz band
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: brendon really likes to croon
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and spencer uses it as an excercise for his jazz drumming
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: besides, spencer is almost done with his MFA
\nailleann23<\/b>: brendon plays the piano too, and they do some jazz fusion stuff
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: when brendon is not off being a kindergarten teacher
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: because that’s what he does as a 9to5
\nailleann23<\/b>: they do Ben Folds Five covers!!!
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: but JAZZY
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: sometimes brendon does a little dance
\nflyingtapes<\/b>: and spencer’s like, mmm, nice view.
\nailleann23<\/b>: but it’s finally summer, so Ryan convinces them to come out for vaca
\nailleann23<\/b>: the collective rents a GIANT villa on the italian riviera
\nailleann23<\/b>: Spencer is in the door for literally three minutes before Frank drags him into the room in the back that they’ve set up as a studio, and doesn’t let him out for four hours