To get to Texas from Vancouver, you have to drive more than two thousand miles. You drive along nine interstates and three highways. If you\u2019re lucky it\u2019ll take you three days, but realistically, to get there without getting yourself or someone else killed, it would take you about five.<\/p>\n
That doesn\u2019t mean Jared wouldn\u2019t do it. It just means he thinks about it a lot.<\/p>\n
Jared\u2019s not a homesick kind of guy, not really. He misses his family, but he\u2019s 24 years old and has been living in LA for a long time now. He loves going home to see everybody, but he\u2019s made a life for himself outside of his family, outside of San Antonio. But there are some things he misses, things that pull on his heart that are so filled with the idea of *home* that he can\u2019t extricate himself from them. And he doesn\u2019t really want to try.<\/p>\n
Like when he goes home, if it\u2019s early enough in the morning when his plane gets in, his momma will take him to Estela\u2019s. They\u2019ll get coffee and fresh-made pan and listen to the band sing strongly-accented mariachi for folks who are more likely to be the family of the owner than any tourist wandering in. Or on Fridays, hit up El Jarro with his siblings, then maybe a bar that they very carefully don\u2019t tell their parents about.<\/p>\n
He and his brother used to spend hours in Hogwild, flipping through the cds and tapes and all the things they wanted so bad when they were teenagers that Jared can\u2019t even remember now, though they were so important at the time. Ice-cream on starlit nights, joyriding out through the country with the windows open and hands flying out, the sweet smell of barbeque at summer family reunions. Jared thinks about this stuff a lot, more when he\u2019s in Vancouver than anywhere else \u2019cause those two thousand miles never seem so far than when he crosses the Canada border.<\/p>\n
Jared doesn\u2019t think Jensen gets homesick, not like Jared does. Jensen talks sometimes about Dallas, but Jared remembers Dallas as a big, sprawling, dusty place made up mostly of indoors to get away from the heat. He didn\u2019t like it much, all glass and chrome, the streets sparse even in the middle of the day. It just wasn\u2019t his kind of town, and apparently it wasn\u2019t Jensen\u2019s either, \u2019cause he\u2019s been living in California for years and never looked back.<\/p>\n
One day, after a cold, wet, rainy shoot that involved way too many layers of Carhart getting way too drenched for late-fall weather, Jared was lying down in his trailer, with David Allen Coe on his iPod and a John Wayne film playing soundlessly on the television. He was trying to get some warmth back in his bones while the set was being torn down; they\u2019d be out there again tomorrow, and they had to stick around the set for some blocking before they would be cleared to leave, so Jared was looking for a little peace and something to remind him that weather didn\u2019t suck this bad everywhere.<\/p>\n
He closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, Jensen was sitting there playing solitaire. Jared shifted to look at him, letting his headphones drop out of his ears. \u201cJust thought you could use some company,\u201d Jensen said quietly. \u201cYou left the set pretty tense.\u201d<\/p>\n
Jared gave a one-armed shrug. \u201cJust tired, I guess,\u201d he said shortly.<\/p>\n
\u201cMiss home?\u201d Jensen said, in one of those too-frequent glimpses into what Jared was thinking.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah,\u201d Jared said a little roughly. \u201cYeah, I do.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTell me about it,\u201d Jensen said encouragingly. To Jared\u2019s surprise, he did\u2013told Jensen all about the stupid things he did in high school, the practical jokes and the football games and the thing with the tuba and the cows. He told Jensen about pulled pork sandwiches with pickles and beer kegs in an open field and the bright, arid warmth of a San Antonio Saturday that was making him miss Texas so bad.<\/p>\n
He told Jensen about the winding road down to Texas from British Columbia. He told Jensen a lot of things.<\/p>\n
Jensen just listened, laughed and nodded in the appropriate places, kicked at the sofa where Jared was resting a little, until one of the PA\u2019s knocked on the door and told them to get their asses back outside for blocking. Jensen helped him up and Jared sighed, grabbing a fleece to wear under the hoodie waiting for him.<\/p>\n
\u201cCheer up, dude,\u201d Jensen said, clapping him on the back. \u201cBreak\u2019s in a couple weeks. You should go home then.\u201d<\/p>\n
Jared shrugged. \u201cDon\u2019t really have time. Besides, I don\u2019t really miss it that bad. Just sometimes. When the weather\u2019s all crappy.\u201d<\/p>\n
Jensen grinned. \u201cThen you must miss it damn bad every day of the year.\u201d<\/p>\n
Jared returned the smile. \u201cYeah. You\u2019re probably right.\u201d<\/p>\n
Jared got over it, got through the blocking and the rest of the week and the snow that happened just as they were getting into the last part of the major scene for the episode they were filming and had to call off shooting until the next day. He got through being cold and wrapped in down and North Face and clutching coffee in his hands all the time, even when he wasn\u2019t going to drink it. He got through it all, and it was with a lot of relief that the crew finally closed down shooting and sent everyone home for a five-day weekend (or, as they called it, Weekend: The Extended Remix). Jared went home, met his dogs, and sat down like a lump on the couch, looking around to the trash heap that was his apartment. He sighed, and it seemed like he fell asleep in seconds.<\/p>\n
When he woke, it was to half-filtered sunlight playing across his face, the heavy weight of the dogs piled over his feet on the far end of the couch, and the smell of coffee. Coffee? Jared poked his head up over the couch and saw Jensen there, looking disgustingly refreshed with a mug in his hand and another on the counter.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat\u2019re you doing here?\u201d Jared asked muzzily, pushing the hair out from his eyes. He felt hung-over, like he always did when he started to repay the first of a very big part of his sleep debt.<\/p>\n
\u201cThought you might try and off yourself because you miss Texas so bad,\u201d Jensen said with mock seriousness, and Jared flipped him the finger. Jensen laughed and poured him a cup of coffee, which Jared took gratefully.<\/p>\n
\u201cI do have a plan, though,\u201d Jensen said. He grabbed the bag by the door\u2013it was from the video store, and Jared looked up to see a selection of Texan films. \u201cYour pick. We can make fun of van der Beek trying to play football, or throw on a couple of westerns.\u201d<\/p>\n
Jared snickered. \u201cWe should make fun of van der Beek.\u201d His stomach rumbled. \u201cAfter breakfast.\u201d<\/p>\n
Jensen raised a hand. \u201cI also have a plan for this.\u201d He pulled a piece of paper from his bag, which turned out to be a printed recipe for heuvos rancheros. \u201cYou had, like, half an onion and some ketchup in your fridge the last time I was here,\u201d he said, raising an eyebrow. \u201cSo I took the liberty of getting you some actual food. Hope you don\u2019t mind the imposition.\u201d<\/p>\n
Jared snorted. \u201cSays the dude who lives on take-out.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHey, you can order yourself a perfectly balanced meal that way!\u201d Jensen protested. \u201cAnyway, I *can* cook. You\u2019ve seen me cook. You\u2019ve had my cooking.\u201d<\/p>\n
Jared waved his hand. \u201cI trust you, man. Rancheros it is.\u201d<\/p>\n
Jensen looked pleased.<\/p>\n
It turned out Jensen *could* cook a good set of heuvos, and they ate breakfast while laughing at what a tool Paul Walker always had been and always will be. They decided to go with the football theme and put on Friday Night Lights after, trading jibes back and forth about the Cowboys and the college teams and even their old high school football teams\u2013even though Jensen never played football once in his life, hell, didn\u2019t even talk through most of high school, he *still* had an opinion on State Division Tournaments.<\/p>\n
It felt a little like being home again.<\/p>\n
When the buzzer went off around two in the afternoon, Jensen got a light in his eyes and made Jared sit and wait on the couch while he ran downstairs and signed for whatever was coming. Jared smelled it before Jensen came in, the faint scent of cardamom and chilli powder, and his mouth was watering before the door even clicked.<\/p>\n
\u201cTell me that isn\u2019t\u2013\u201d Jared said with longing in his voice.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt is,\u201d Jensen said with pride.<\/p>\n
\u201cBill Miller\u2019s,\u201d they said at the same time with a mixture of reverence usually only used for church and the Rose Bowl.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow the hell did you get this here?\u201d Jared said between huge bites of pork and long gulps of beer that Jensen had thoughtfully shoved into the back of the fridge whenever the hell he\u2019d arrived.<\/p>\n
\u201cI have connections,\u201d Jensen said mysteriously, and wouldn\u2019t say more even when Jared punched him in the arm and threatened to sit on him with the dogs for help.<\/p>\n
\u201cJust say thanks and shut the hell up!\u201d Jensen said, laughing and almost choking on his food.<\/p>\n
\u201cThanks,\u201d Jared said, happiness evident in his voice. \u201cThanks, Jensen.\u201d<\/p>\n
Jensen smiled. \u201cYou\u2019re welcome.\u201d<\/p>\n
They drank beer slowly for the rest of the day, sitting on the couch and talking through a couple more movies; Jared felt the tension that had been building up behind his eyes for the last few weeks drain away like a healing wound.<\/p>\n
When the sky turned dark, Jensen pulled Jared outside and they kicked up their feet and looked at the winter night sky, miraculously clear. The stars weren\u2019t quite the same, but Jared didn\u2019t know them well enough to tell the difference, and they stayed out there until they were shivering and even the dogs wanted to go in.<\/p>\n
Jensen broke out the tequila he\u2019d tucked away, and Jared made approving noises at the brand. \u201cNice, dude.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOnly the best for you,\u201d Jensen said, sticking out his tongue. Jared felt something in his gut and tamped down the feeling as fast as it came. They did a shot and then Jensen mixed it with the pineapple juice he brought, which almost didn\u2019t work but was good enough for them, the way they were feeling. The television was turned off, and Jared had thrown on the Townes Van Zandt cd his sister burned for them. They sat in companionable silence on the couch.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou know, I miss it too, sometimes,\u201d Jensen said. \u201cThis makes me miss it more. But I was outta there as soon as I could swing it. It wasn\u2019t where I wanted to be.\u201d<\/p>\n
Jared nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cBut I can see why you love it so much,\u201d Jensen said, shifting towards Jared and meeting his eyes. \u201cIt\u2019s easy to see why you love it so much.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s home,\u201d Jared said. \u201cAt the end of the day, when I\u2019m thinking of home, that\u2019s where I wanna be.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah,\u201d Jensen said. \u201cI kinda know that feeling,\u201d he said, and gently grabbed Jared\u2019s head to pull him into a kiss.<\/p>\n
It was slow, and a little sloppy, but Jared was glad his drink was on the table because it meant he could put his hands on Jensen, stroke up his thighs and tighten on his waist, pull him closer until they were lying parallel on the couch, breathing the same air.<\/p>\n
\u201cGood thing we got a break right now,\u201d Jared huffed out, laughing a little. \u201cI want some time to spend on this.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMe too,\u201d Jensen said.<\/p>\n
\u201cThanks for bringing me home, Jensen.\u201d<\/p>\n
Jensen kissed him. \u201cYou’re welcome.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
That doesn\u2019t mean Jared wouldn\u2019t do it. It just means he thinks about it a lot.<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-cwrps","category-jensenjared"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/flyingtapes.adamao.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/flyingtapes.adamao.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/flyingtapes.adamao.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/flyingtapes.adamao.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/flyingtapes.adamao.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=12"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/flyingtapes.adamao.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/flyingtapes.adamao.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=12"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/flyingtapes.adamao.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=12"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/flyingtapes.adamao.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=12"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}